If the events of the past 15 minutes could be written in correspondence form, they would go something like this:

Dear ginormous black bug that is now currently hiding somewhere in the room,
let's make a deal: You don't come out of hiding, and I don't run from the room screaming like a little girl. Sound good?
Sincerely, Rachel

Dear Rachel,
I don't think so.
Bug

Dear ginormous black bug that is again hiding somewhere in the room, how about you don't show yourself again, making me practically break my face tripping over myself to run out of the room screaming like a little girl, and I don't kill you?
Sincerely, Rachel

Dear Rachel,
Neener, neener, you can't catch me!
Bug

Dear Bug,
The deal is off. I stepped on you, Lysol'ed you, wrapped you up in a big ball of tape and threw you in the garbage can in the other room -- all while screaming...but I still win.
Rachel


Dear Rachel,
Then why are you still jumping everytime you think you feel something brush against your arm? Haha.
Bug


Dear bug,
fuck you.
Rachel

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